The camping toaster is the ultimate WTF. Of course, we know what it’s for – we’re not idiots, the clue is in the name – but actually making it work is a completely different matter. If your idea of a hearty breakfast is a couple of slices of floppy, anaemic, slightly warm bread, then buy one now. But otherwise, forget it. In fact, forget it anyway. Save your £4 and buy a couple of 40w halogen bulbs instead. Frankly, you would get the same effect by holding a slice of Warburtons under one of them for three hours and it would be less frustrating than trying to use this contraption. Now we’re willing to accept the possibility that it’s us who is to blame, that we’re doing something fundamentally wrong. So we’ve conducted market research. We’ve asked other people and none of them – not one – can get them to work. So why are they still for sale everywhere? Are we all so desperate for toast that we’re snapping these stupid things up in our droves despite the fact that they are as useless as an inflatable dartboard? Please stop it now people, we urge you. This is possibly the most utterly useless piece of camping equipment known to mankind and quite definitely the most pointless purchase we've ever made. And this is from the man who once bought a roll of Saddam Hussain toilet paper (“wipe your crack with the guy from Iraq”). OK. Rant over. Now breathe…