Full review

Caravans don’t come much more luxurious than the 2009 Swift Conqueror 630, I’m deciding as I settle down in the unusually-upholstered lounge to make these notes.

Mr Chapman the photographer, though, has his head under the double bed, muttering darkly as he scrabbles about to find the main drain switch to enable us to fill up the water system as we “move in” to our home for the week. The caravan’s water system has been drained prior to its delivery to us for the test, there’s air in the piping – and, eventually, percussive gurgling sounds herald the arrival of water to the taps.

The Conqueror’s water system is worthy of comment. It’s comprehensive – on-board tank (slung under the caravan), Alde central heating that also heats the water... There’s a lot of exploration to be done on your behalf before we get on with the business of the live-in test.

I leave the photographer to investigate the plumbing, put the kettle on the mains hotplate and settle into coffee and words about the layout...

One advantage of the Alde hot water-based central heating system is that all its equipment is under bedding lockers. That means you get extra cupboard space; in this layout, that advantage is given to you in the kitchen. You have two cupboards – both with wire-basket shelving, both capacious. You also have a full-size fridge with separate freezer and microwave above, all opposite the main kitchen area.

Chapman The Elder interrupts my kitchen deliberations to announce the main water drain switch is inaccessibly far under the fixed bed – in a corner. Easily accessible, though, through the exterior hatch that opens into the cavernous under-bed space. But he’s not yet noticed that. My offering of: “I suggest you go outside and open the exterior locker” is met only by: “Get on with your writing.” Male pride and helpful hints just don’t mix. Back to the kitchen. I know my place...

Dinner time approaches and I set out the ingredients of the main course: Pork steaks on a bed of mashed potato with a cranberry, orange and wine sauce concoction that’s a total experiment... and I instantly fill the entire workspace beside the sink. I put the chopping board in place over the sink and start again. Get organised, I tell myself... Now the kitchen works well.

“You can set the power load for the Alde to five, six or seven amps according to the maximum supply of the site you’re on,” a voice from under the still-raised double bed tells me. Chapman The Plumber is reading the Alde instruction book and is programming the heating for the next 24 hours. I make a note that that’s another advantage of Alde.
The Alde system warms a caravan at a slower pace than the Truma system, so allow time for this. The timer makes sure you can programme it to switch on before you plan to return to your caravan after a day out and, equally importantly, before you plan to get up at the start of the day.

Pork makes it to the pan, followed by giant spring onions, mushrooms and the citrus and berry ingredients. I set it to simmer – again using the mains-power hotplate that cuts your gas bills – while I seek out the simplest of starters from the cavernous fridge: a pot of taramasalata, tomatoes and potato cakes to pop under the grill.
But first I have to clear the remnants of main course preparation before I can cut the tomatoes. You have to be superbly methodical in this kitchen. If you include the hinged section that drops down to the right of the hob over the foot of the bed, total kitchen space is much larger. But that section is only useful for placing items, not for cutting up food because you can’t stand in front of it... I’ll be more organised for Day Two’s meals, I decide. The conclusion to be drawn here is that the limited space is worth accepting and working round – because the rest of the layout is simply lovely and, as most caravan purchasers know, you can’t have it all.

We’re at Woodland Waters Caravan Park, just outside the Lincolnshire village of Ancaster on the Roman road Ermine Street. The main attraction here is five fishing lakes and an exceptionally picturesque setting.

For us, though, the Conqueror occupies almost all of our stay here this time...

More of that luxury to describe for you: Rear shower-dressing room layouts are automatically in the luxury class – but this one goes a few steps further, befitting the model’s flagship status. The shower gives you a towel-dry area beside the circular shower area itself; no screen to fold, just a gigantic total shower area. The Alde equipment gives you an additional advantage in this room: The finned radiators of the central heating system run around all four walls of the caravan and the section that appears in the bathroom effectively creates a drying cupboard. That’s because there are two towel rails in this cupboard – and the facility is cleverly disguised. Its door is also the main door to the shower room, so that when the door is open, it is closed over the cupboard. That door configuration is seen in a great many rear-shower-room models – but when the Alde system turns it into a drying cupboard, it becomes a doubly important feature.

Comfort atop the deep, fixed-bed mattress is taken for granted, as is lounging comfort, thanks to firmly-upholstered corner units. And, because the 2009 model 630 has parallel seating rather than the L-shaped lounge of previous 630s, four can lounge or eat in spacious comfort here.

The total warmth of the Alde heating system – and its silence (no whirring blown-air fan) – is impressive. If you haven’t yet experienced this system, take it from us that you’ll be warm as toast and cosseted in that programmable luxury.

Not all of the Conqueror’s assets are inside, though... So you thought all caravans were white boxes? The current Conquerors prove you wrong. Their cool silver-grey sides are distinctive and stunning. And there’s more than graphics to enhance its lines. Take a look at the front-side windows. They’re not boring rectangles; they dip slightly towards the front end, emphasising the lines of the burgundy and grey graphics beneath. And the door window has a dark grey shaped section beneath it. You’ll notice, too, the stunning awning-light strip of LED lights above the door. And the darker grey hatch-edging that integrates the boring necessities like toilet and fridge vents and exterior lockers as part of the design. In total, this is a classily eye-catching caravan.

The wind’s too cool today to hang around admiring the Conqueror’s exterior view, however attractive. We’re back inside, toes on the tactile deep-pile, practical brown carpet, relishing the Alde warmth.

Time to make a note of that unusual upholstery fabric we mentioned at the start of this test. Greys to match the exterior, creams to match the light-reflecting worksurfaces, slightly-peachy fawns to make sure the image is warm, circles and geometric shapes to make sure it’s interesting... Good so far? Now for the unusual bit. Half way along each backrest and following the curve of the corner sections is a suede-effect stripe. Cushions get the same fabric across their centres, together with four feature buttons. There’s something else unusual here. The nearside armrest (the one just beside the door) has a base that goes alongside the seat base to secure it in position. Full marks, Swift, for a superb lounge.

Lighting wins our praise, too. Tiniest narrow-beam spotlights, above-locker strips of warm light, twin spotlights in a neat unit above the kitchen focusing just where you need the light and two more spotlights set into a surround of brown to tone with the furnishings – the 630’s lighting design is delightful.

The same goes for the use of concertina blinds at the three front windows as well as those on the sides. The three rooflights also get concertina blinds; they’re far more luxurious-looking than flat cream plastic alternatives. But while you’re looking up at the ceiling, look carefully and you’ll notice that there is something missing. Extractor fans have for several years been taken for granted in high-spec caravans – but the Conqueror doesn’t have one. Perhaps it’s significant that I didn’t notice its absence when I cooked last evening’s potatoes; in a large caravan, cooking-induced steam is less of an issue than in more confined layouts. Perhaps we’re placing too much emphasis on the cooking department – not everyone is as enthusiastic about caravan culinary creations as the Chapmans. The simple fact is that our live-in test demonstrated that the Conqueror 630 is a maximum-length luxury four-berth that richly deserves a place on your shortlist if this is the type of caravan you’re considering. And you won’t miss an extractor fan!

One more test for it – and one at least as important as all the rest. We hitched it to the Chapman Kia Sorento just to prove it would behave as well as we expected. As the wind whipped and bent the trees around Woodland Waters we set out over the exposed lanes of this part of agricultural Lincolnshire and headed for the A1. The Conqueror-Sorento partnership remained unaffected by the gusts, both heavy units sitting planted to the roads securely at all speeds. This tow underlined twin-axle stability – and then, as we returned to our pitch, that slow-but-accurate reversing characteristic of twin-axles reminded us that, contrary to popular belief among those who have never towed twin-axle caravans, they’re truly a whole lot easier to manoeuvre – so long as you use your car, not your muscles!