Vanstrology – is the caravan you choose in the stars?

Have you ever wondered what influences the caravans you choose to buy? In this fun article, Kerriann Godwin takes a look at caravan astrology – or 'Vanstrology' if you prefer...

Aries takes charge of the convoy and devises adventurous trips to keep fellow caravanners entertained. Wine flows freely in their richly furnished lounge as they show off the latest gadgets they’ve picked up off a super-secret website. Don't steal quick-tempered Aries’ pitch, though; you might have a run-in with a ram’s horn. 

Taurus opts for excellent build quality and glamorous, tactile furnishings every time. A desire for comfort, luxury, reliability and security lead them to buy the best they can afford. Velvet throws keep them comfy as they sip gin and tonic in a five-star campsite. Beware if you have a grander caravan; jealous Taurus may sabotage your outfit. 

Gemini loves to talk about caravans, touring, sites – they may even blog. Listen to their advice as they do their research well. They travel constantly and are never happier than when on the road. Off-grid camping is their default position as they’re not keen on rules; they may even get their chairs out and – on occasion – an awning! Don’t ask them an open-ended question; you may be there for some time. 

Cancer enjoys domestic bliss so there will, of course, be bunting – and cushions – and soft toys. An alarm, extra door locks and a protection amulet dangling from the mirror will ensure their security. The battlefields of Normandy appeal to them as they love learning about the past. Remove your shoes when you visit as clean-freak Cancer may follow you with a mop. 

Leo will pitch at a campsite in a prime position surrounded by deck chairs, a BBQ and a bright red car. Natural entertainers, they’ll thrill you with tales of winter travels to the warmth of southern Spain where they set up mini-realms surrounded by lesser admirers. Give them your attention, though; if you stray you may receive a leonine roar. 

Virgo is unable to sit and do nothing so needs to keep their hands and mind busy. Usually found by their garage discussing the dos and don’ts of toilet technology, it’s not unknown for them to hold a workshop to impart their knowledge to less-informed mortals. Follow their instructions carefully or they may sneak in to tidy your caravan when you're not looking. 

Libra loves the peace and quiet of a lakeside site. Melodious tunes waft through floaty curtains, bread bakes aromatically in a spotless oven, and you automatically adopt a yoga position when you enter their caravan. They listen intently to your advice on chilled out off-grid spots. Ensure the information is correct or you could find yourself stuck in ‘downward dog’. 

Scorpio is the most likely caravanner to be found at a nudist site. They don’t always want to get in on the action but are intrigued by the freedom of it. They are naturally curious and dream of a world where clothes do not maketh the man. 

Sagittarius is the sign most likely to tour in Australia filming a documentary for their university degree. Not ones for a ‘boring’ campsite, they’ll be found pitched by a lonely sand dune accompanied by several dogs for companionship and protection. Ensure your hair is done and lipstick on for an appearance in their video. 

Capricorn has retired early after a life working hard to afford the time to travel in a luxurious state. They need technology aplenty so they can ‘keep an eye’ on business back home. They can’t really give up work – can they? Suggest they ‘relax’ and they may jam your WiFi. 

Aquarius loves the freedom of caravanning and enjoys individualising their caravan with stickers, funky curtains and incense. Toys, rocks and shells are souvenirs collected and lovingly displayed to rekindle memories of fun times with strangers met by a stone circle somewhere in Brittany. Don’t tie them down or they may tie you up. 

Pisces tours for creative inspiration. You’ll find them with a poetry book, a bottle of whisky and a guitar for composing heartfelt songs to sing around the campfire. Their natural habitat is the seaside for maximum chill-out action. Don’t leave them alone in the bar as they do like a tipple and can get a bit maudlin.

We all love caravanning but perhaps ‘Vanstrology’ can give us a hint as to why we do it in our own special ways.

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