Can you go on a caravan holiday with a newborn baby?

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Family caravan man Hans Seeberg tells us all about introducing his newborn to a £50,000 Airstream

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There’s no other way to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it: my four-week-old son has just done a projectile poop in a brand new Airstream International 604.

It was all going so well: I’d put him down on his little mat to change his nappy, but in that fateful five-second gap while his cheeks were free of Pampers, his peachy bottom machine-gunned the place with homemade Dijon mustard and I am not happy about it. His feet, my jeans and the red upholstery are all victims, and proof that a baby’s bowels have scant regard for plush surroundings.

– Why is an Airstream worth so much money? –

Me and the family are here to find out if you really can go caravanning with a new-born, but after less than two hours I’m already thinking that the next time I have another ‘great idea’ like this I need to go outside and have a right bloody good word with myself.

Half an hour later, after a mass clean-up operation involving a bit of shouting and a lot of Dettol, I’m determined not to let this decidedly brown start set the tone for the next two days.

Newborn in a caravan

“Come on guys, let’s focus on the positives!” I exclaim to my wife Alex, my four-year-old son Oscar, and little baby Morten, who hasn’t got a clue what I’m on about.

So here are the positives: we’re staying in a £50,000 Airstream, overlooking the Irish Sea. We’re at Holgates in Silverdale, which is a fantastic caravan park. We have the Lake District on our doorstep. And the caravan smells slightly less pooey than it did 30 minutes ago. Things are looking up, right?

But this much is clear a mere three hours into our trip: caravanning with a newborn is going to take a bit of adjustment.

Tiny people need giant suitcases

Packing the car should’ve been a dead giveaway: babies need SO MUCH STUFF. Even if you live in the pokiest of two-up two-downs, you’ve still got mansion-like space compared to a caravan.

We can’t remember where we’ve put anything and we’re falling over ourselves trying to sort things out and where the bloody hell are those wipes and is it too early to start drinking yet?

We decide that after a three-and-a-half hour journey from Peterborough to get here, Oscar needs a good run-around – but none of us fancy some 30-mile ride to a zoo that’s going to take two hours on a series of twisty country lanes. That’s not the only issue though…

In actual fact, the coolness of the Airstream 604 is causing us a few problems, because once everyone’s in there, all Oscar wants to do is stay inside it all day.

Can we go back to the caravan yet?

We finally manage to get out of the door and make our way up to Lakeside for a Windermere cruise to Bowness, a beautifully tranquil 40-minute journey along the most famous lake in the district.

After only five minutes Oscar utters a phrase that he will go on to repeat several times: “Can we go back to the caravan now?” Er, given that we’re in the middle of a lake and there’s a newborn baby attached to your mother’s nipple, no you can’t.

Once in Bowness, we have another activity up our sleeve to distract Oscar from the caravan. He’s been getting into a bit of Peter Rabbit in the bedtime story stakes recently so we think, ‘What better way to feed this charmingly innocent interest before he starts wanting to watch cartoons where people shoot each other with ludicrous machine guns than a visit to the Beatrix Potter museum?’

Initially giving this idea a warm reception, Oscar then decides to have a total meltdown just as we’re about to buy tickets. ‘I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE CARAVAAAAN!’ he wails. All these people in the queue are looking at me going, ‘He wants to go back to a caravan?’ But the truth of the matter is that now he’s had a sniff of a fifty grand Airstream, Peter Rabbit can do one.

Caravan with a newborn

A little detour on the way back to our pitch

So back to the caravan we go, via the very cool Lakeland Motor Museum for a look at some lovely old cars while Alex feeds Morten in its blissful waterside cafe.

When we eventually get back to the Airstream, the weather’s cleared up and it might just be time for a little alfresco tipple as Morten sleeps and Oscar plays football.

Caravanning with a newborn: yes or no?

So can you go caravanning with a newborn baby? Well, you can go caravanning with a buffalo if you really want, the question really should be, ‘Is going caravanning with a newborn baby ‘enjoyable’?

The answer is definitely yes – once you’ve got into the swing of things and sussed out your surroundings.

If you’re thinking of doing the same thing, the only advice I can offer you is this: be organised, be patient… and be careful when changing their nappy in a caravan that costs eight times more than your car.

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